


Promise to never leave me

by veronicamarilyn



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Other, Sad, Sleepovers, Unrequited Love, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-27
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 18:23:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/982149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veronicamarilyn/pseuds/veronicamarilyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time they met, Louis said harry ears was weird. When they were young Louis was always by Harry side , his best friend and his protector. They probably never realized that how much they need each other to survive. harry was Louis's source of happiness. Without Louis, life is just a waste for Harry. Louis never knew that his heart caves in when he looks at Harry. Along the way growing up, they fell in love</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promise to never leave me

It's not every day little Harry got to have a new neighbour. Surprisingly, today when Harry woke up and brushed his teeth and put on his uniform to go to school he see a moving truck and huge men carrying furniture inside the house. He tries to look through but the fences were taller than him and he could hardly see anything. 

 

'Come on love, better hurry up or you will be late for school.' His mother called him inside her car. 

 

He quickly ran towards the car and entered. 

 

'Mummy I think we are having new neighbours' 

 

'Yes dear' his mother replied eyes still fixated on the road. 

 

'Do you think they have a cat like us?' Harry asked again as he thinks about his black cat at home named dusty. His mother bought for him just two months ago for his birthday and as a 4 years old child, the name "dusty" was the most creative name he could think of. His sister thought it was a stupid name but Harry thought it was the most perfect and unique name for his cat. 

 

'Maybe. I don't know Harry. I haven't met them yet love ' his mother replied.

 

For the rest of the ride he kept thinking about his new neighbour, maybe they had a pool, maybe they had a dog. It was just so exciting for him since the last neighbour was an old couple, Mr and Mrs Jones. He loves them but they were not very fun. Mr Jones sometimes even scolds him for stepping on his grass. 

 

'Okay love, we are here' his mother exclaimed. 

 

Harry kisses his mother's cheek and ran off to school. 

 

For the rest of the day in school, Harry completely forgot about his new neighbours as his nursery recently build a new playground and he really wanted a ride in the swings. Also in his class, they got two pet goldfish and he was so excited seeing them swim around in their fishbowl. 

 

It wasn't until he reached home when he remembered about his new neighbours. As the fence was too tall to look over he went to the front of their house. There was a boy around his age maybe a bit older. 

 

He was on his knees digging a hole Harry walked up to him. 

 

'What are you doing?' squatting beside the boy. 

 

The boy was surprised by Harry's appearance and accidentally dropped in the small hole that he had dug out. 

 

Harry couldn't help but laughed softly covering his mouth because he knew that it wasn't right to laugh at people when they fell, but he couldn't help it. 

 

'Stop laughing.' The boy frowned. He was completely covered in dirt. There were even grasses in his hair. 

 

Harry offered his hand and helped the boy up.

 

'My name is Harry' he said putting both his hands behind his back grinning. 

 

'I'm Louis. How old are you?' He asked

 

'I'm four, ' showing Louis his little four fingers. 

 

'And next year I'll be five!' Harry said excitedly and showed Louis his five fingers. 

 

'I'm five this year' Louis said as he went back down on his knees and continued digging. 

 

'Whoa you are like a big boy already!' Harry said . His mother always said he was always too young to understand anything. Whenever he asked questions his mother or sister would brush him off saying that he would know when he grow up . Harry can't wait to grow up. 

 

' I guess so' Louis said , giving Harry hardly any attention

 

'Whatcha doing?' Harry too kneels down as Louis digs. 

 

'Digging'

 

'Why?'

 

'Because my mom lied to me. She said our new house there is gonna be a swimming pool. But she lied, there is no swimming pool. So I'm gonna dig myself one. ' 

 

'You're weird.' Harry commented .

 

Louis frown with his eyes narrowed glaring at little Harry. 'I'm not weird, you're weird . You have odd-looking ears. '

 

'My ears are not odd-looking ' he touches his ears self-consciously. 

 

The two boys spend their whole afternoon digging a small hole and tried filling it with water from the hose. But within seconds the water just seeps into the soil but of course they didn't understand .

 

It wasn't until Harry mother called him for tea , he would have stayed with Louis till next morning .

 

'But mom, we are building a swimming pool as Harry mother lean against the fence gesturing him to come home. 

 

'Well why don't you and your friend come have a little tea break . I got some biscuits and tea. You boys can eat at the patio.' Harry's mother smiled at them fondly and the both of them grinned and nodded excitedly .

 

~~~

 

'What are you drinking?' Louis asked, trying to peek through Harry's cup. 

 

'Milk, you want some?' Offering his cup to Louis .

 

'No thanks , I prefer my tea' he look at the milk in disgust.

 

'Tea is for old people 'Harry commented. Drowning the rest of the milk down. 

 

'No, so are you saying milk is for babies ?'

 

Harry opened his mouth , but he didn't know how to continue . 

 

'My ears are not odd. Yours is' he said bitterly . 

 

Louis just laughs at him , causing Harry to blush . 

 

'You're cute when you blush' pinching Harry's cheek. Harry just grinned . He likes to be compliment . He get all shy and starts to blush. He would stare at the floor avoiding their eyes . 

 

'Harry, who is your best friend ?' Louis asked .

 

'I dunno' 

 

'Ok then , I'm your best friend '

 

'Ok' Harry agrees giving him a cheeky grin. 

 

'Harry, do you know what are the rules of being my best friend?' 

 

Harry frowns ' there are rules?'

 

'Yes. 1) you have to promise me that you would help me dig up a pool. 2)drink tea with me. ' Louis said , stating the rules. 

 

'Ok . I have a rule too!' Harry said excited . 

 

'What is it?' 

 

' you must never leave me ok?' Harry ask as he jump up on Louis and hug around his neck . 

 

'Ok haz' Louis hug back .

 

From that day , the two boys were inseparable . They often have sleepovers in each other houses. Their mothers became friends and allowed them to have sleepover since they were just neighbours. They went to the same kindergarten , even though they were in different level. They would have lunch together . There was a kid from Louis's class name Zayn . He often bully all the little children below his level. Zayn was much bigger compare to little Harry. 

 

Once, Harry was on the swing of the new playground waiting for Louis to push him when Louis went to the bathroom to wee. Zayn came up to Harry and push him off the swing . His arm was scraped by the grass and was on the verge of crying.

 

'Listen curly hair , this is my swing.'

 

'I didn't know , I'm sorry....' Harry said, trying his best to hold his tears . 

 

'Don't apologize Harry. ' 

 

Both Harry and Zayn turn around and saw Louis glaring at Harry. 

 

'Louis , this is none of your business ' Zayn said smirking . 

 

'It's is my business when you have hurt Harry ' Louis snapped back and push Zayn off the swing . 

 

Really out of nowhere , it turn into a fight, both boys were rolling on the grass throwing punches. More and more children saw the commotion and crowded around them . Poor Harry just stood at the side not knowing what to do.

 

 

Louis knew he was in big trouble, the moment he stepped into the principal office; he knew surely he was going to be expelled. 

 

Harry was beside him all the way as they both waited for their mothers to arrive. Harry looks like he was going to cry. His mob of curls falling down to his face, didn't dare to make a sound. 

 

All Louis wanted to do was to hug him and tell him that it was alright. 

 

Louis knew it was wrong to start a fight. But he was so angry when he saw Zayn pushing Harry and scolding him . He knows what kind of person Harry was . He knew that Harry wouldn't stand up to a bully. So Louis helped Harry. 

 

As the minutes ticked by he was getting more and more anxious . The principal was sitting on her desk doing her paperwork while the 2 boys just wait for their mothers to arrive . 

 

Soon their mother both merged from the door. Both faces had different expression. Anne looked sad and disappointed at Harry while Jay was fuming and was glaring at Louis . She couldn't imagine that her own son would get into a fight . Unlike Harry , Louis was a little rebel. However he knew what was right from wrong . Louis knew that fighting in school was not something she tolerates.

 

Harry look like he was ready to burst into tears when he saw his mother's disappointed face . 

 

The boys waited outside as the principal spoke to both their mothers.

 

'Do you think we would get expelled? 'Harry asked timidly . 

 

' I'm sure we won't ' Louis grabbing his hand and hold tightly trying to reassure Harry . Even though he was scared shitless, silently praying that they won't be expelled . 

 

Endless scenarios played in their minds. From what actions would the principal take , to what their mothers would do to them when they get home. 

 

~~~~

 

Both mothers have decided: 3 weeks of punishment: no TV, no games, and no sleepovers. 

 

The boys was relieved when they found out they won't be expelled. At least one thing was achieved. Nobody dared to bully Harry again. Everyone in school knows that if they ever lay a finger on Harry, they got to deal with Louis.

 

Even though Louis and Harry are best friends. They fight all the time. But within minutes harry would start crying and Louis would come and comfort him. Louis can't bear to see Harry crying. 

 

Harry was a clumsy little boy, once the two boys were at Louis's room playing when Harry got up and his arm accidentally hit Louis's fish bowl. All the water started dripping down his floor and bed. The poor fish was started jumping out of water. 

 

'HARRY!' Louis pushed Harry away and grabs the fish and put it in a little cup in his toilet. He came out of the toilet fuming. 

 

'You are such a clumsy boy. Look what you did to my room. The floor is a mess, my sheets are wet. This is your entire fault ' Louis scolds Harry. 

 

Harry's lips quivered and he knew he was going to cry. 

 

'I'm sorry, I .....'

 

'Just leave Harry. 'Louis went back to the bathroom making sure his fishies are ok. 

 

Harry ran back home. He cried till he fell asleep.

 

They did not speak or 5 days until both their mothers where worried. They stop going home together. They pretend as if each other did not exist. 

 

But every night both boys would cry a bit before they sleep. Obviously they miss each other. 

 

Louis was a stubborn child, he hate to apologize even though he knows that he was in a wrong. Harry was a timid little child. He was afraid that Louis was still angry with him and wouldn't date to even look at him.

 

Jay was getting fed up. She thought that this little fight would go away after a few hours just like the other fights. Soon she started to get worried when she would hear muffled cries in her son's room. She knew she had to do something. 

 

'Lou dear, go apologize to Harry. You look miserable' 

 

'But mom, he broke my fish bowl. ' 

 

'It was an accident, Harry did apologized after all' 

 

Louis thought for a minute . 

 

'You know you miss him, Lou' 

 

~~~~

 

3 days later, Louis finally walked to Harry's house and apologized. Both of them started crying and hugged each other. Of course they made up. Both mothers stand at a corner relieve that the fight was over. Now they can finally stop worrying. 

 

Immediately both boys went in the living room holding each other's hand tightly. 

 

'I missed you , Lou ' Harry whispered as they both lay on the couch watching "Aladdin" . 

 

'I missed you too' 

 

When Harry was seven , and Louis was eight. Harry's father left. Harry didn't know what was going on. All he knows that his father was not coming back. No explanation. He just left without a word. Harry was confused. Was it his fault? Was he not doing well in school that made his father angry? 

 

His parents would fight every night and every night Harry cries himself to sleep. 

 

'Lou, why are mum and dad always fighting? ' 

 

'I don't know Harry' 

 

'You know, he left yesterday ' he whispered, trying his best not to cry.

 

Louis looked a little shocked. But said nothing. 

 

'He just packed his bag and left. He didn't even say goodbye.' Harry started sobbing softly. 

 

Louis walked towards him and hugs Harry tightly. 

 

'It's ok Haz , you still got me. I'll never leave you. I promise' 

 

Louis knew how Harry was feeling so for the whole day they just lay in bed hugging each other. 

 

Harry remained quiet and sad for 3 weeks. Always hugging Louis and holding his hand. Afraid that maybe Louis would leave too. But Louis did not. Both boys would lie in bed all day just talking. That's just the things they like to do.

 

Every time Harry wants to cry, Louis would be his shoulder to lie on. Louis was there for Harry. Harry was there for Louis .

 

~~~~

 

When Harry was nine and Louis was ten. Both of them entered the same primary school. Louis was the popular boy in school, while Harry was that curly haired boy following Louis's behind . 

 

Harry was still this shy boy, blushing whenever attention was on him. 

 

That was also the year that Louis had his first girlfriend. Her name was Eleanor. She was very pretty. She had brown wavy hair and a cute smile. All the boys had crushes on her. But Eleanor chooses Louis. 

 

Everything changed from that day onward. It was no longer Harry and Louis. It was Harry, Louis and Eleanor. 

 

Everywhere they go, Eleanor would be there. Usually when Louis has a football match, Harry was his cheerleader. He would draw up posters and cheer for Louis. This time it was Eleanor and Harry. Louis no longer has much time for Harry either. Slowly Harry started to feel left out. Louis and Harry no longer go home together because Louis has to 'send' Eleanor home. They no longer hang out in each other room anymore. It's like Harry has been replaced. 

 

At first Harry would brush it off. He would convince himself that it was a small matter that no matter what Louis won't leave him. They are best friends. But as time goes by , from hanging out and talking all day to having chats during lunch , to small chat during break , to just acknowledging each other in the hall ways . Louis would give Harry a little nod and smile as his arm sling across Eleanor shoulder. 

 

Harry didn't want to admit it but he was heartbroken, that Louis would just replace him with some girl he just met. He thought that was simply ridiculous. It only showed Harry that he was nothing to Louis. How little Harry was in Louis's heart. 

 

On Harry's 10th birthday party. Louis didn't come. He had to go out with Eleanor or something. Harry didn't cry or sulked in his room. Deep down he knew Louis wasn't coming but still it hurt. He was still sad, but he didn't cry , he is not sure whether because he didn't care anymore or that he was already used to it . 

 

~~~~

 

'Hello love, how's school?' Jay asked as Louis went in the kitchen to drink some water. 

 

'It's ok.' 

 

'Hey, how's Harry? I haven't seen him in a long time' 

 

'I don't know, bye mom' leaving the kitchen and ran up to his bedroom. Once he reached his room, he drops his bag and flop onto his bed. Having a girlfriend isn't easy. Louis had to wake up early in the morning to go to Eleanor house so that they can go home together. After school they have to go home together. They are always together. What's worse is that during lunch Eleanor refused to buy her own meal because she is on a "diet" but eats Louis food instead. Louis absolutely hates it. Firstly , no one eats Lou food. Secondly, Eleanor is stick thin, why in the world is she on a diet?

 

Really he is getting tired of Eleanor, seeing her every day is just a chore. He no longer has time for his other friends or play football. He also doesn't have time for Harry anymore. He can't remember when the last time he speaks to Harry was. Honestly, he miss Harry. 

 

Louis look at the side of his bed, on the table was a wrapped gift . He bought it months ago for Harry's birthday , and it has been nearly 3 weeks after Harry's birthday , but Louis just didn't have the guts to wish him and give the present to him. 

 

Louis knew he has been a bad friend to Harry. But he doesn't know what to do really. Every time he sees Harry walking down the hallways. If he was lucky Harry would give him a small smile acknowledging him. Other than that, Harry pretty much ignores him. As if Harry and Louis never met. 

 

Louis wonders how Harry does it. How Harry can look so nonchalant. Every day while Louis is eating ice cream with Eleanor, walking to school with her. All Louis was thinking was how much more enjoyable if Harry was Eleanor. Instead of listening to Eleanor talking shit about others. Harry would be talking about his weekend.

 

It Louis and Harry were to go eat ice cream. Harry would get chocolate flavor while Louis would get vanilla. Harry knows how much Louis loves ice cream in general; he would give half of his ice cream to Louis. While Eleanor on the other hand, would be on a 'diet' but in the end eat half of Louis's ice cream. 

 

A week later, Louis dumped Eleanor. He couldn't take it anymore. Louis walked to Harry's house, in one hand holding Harry's birthday present. Harry was overjoyed when he came back. They both hugged it out . 

 

The both of them run to Harry's room and lay in bed talking, just talking. They haven't talk in nearly 2 months. 

 

'Lou, why did you leave me? You promised that you were never going to leave me.' Harry asked, voice shaking a little 

 

'I'm sorry Harry, it's my fault. I will never do that again. I promise. 'Lou sighed. 

 

'It's ok, just promise to never leave me again' 

 

Harry wasn't the kind that holds on to grudges. He forgives easily. Especially when it comes to Louis. He would do anything for Louis. Always wanting to please him. 

 

Harry meant everything to Louis. At first Louis didn't notice how much he thinks about Harry. Sometimes in class, he would wonder whether Harry was getting bullied in his class. If he were to go to the shops to get some candy and sweets. He would wonder whether Harry would like some and would buy a few of Harry's favourite. It didn't come in a shock that Louis was always thinking about Harry. He thought that it was something common. That it was common to think about a boy he has known his whole life all day. 

~~~~

 

When Louis was 16 years old, he finally came to a realization that he was in love with Harry. Harry was 15 that year. 

 

It took Louis that long to realize he was in love with a boy he knew his whole life. 

 

'You have really odd looking ears. 'Louis said smirking as the both of them were lazing on the Louis bed.

 

'They are not odd!' Harry said, trying to use his hair to cover his ears. 

 

However that was also the year that Harry was in a serious relationship. Harry was with a girl name Caroline. 

 

Caroline was the first girl Harry was very serious about. Of course that meant that Harry and Louis couldn't hang out that often. Obviously Louis understand, and he thought that its better this way. That way his heart won't hurt as bad as to seeing Harry and Caroline in lunch. Sharing their food, being all couple-ly. Sucking their face off. 

 

Oh Louis isn't jealous at all. 

 

Louis can understand why Harry was in love with Caroline, she was tall, had light brown hair and was 17. Older than Harry by 2 years. She was pretty, too bad he don't go that way. 

 

He knew he liked boys when he was 14. But really he wasn't completely sure. He haven't been with a boy. He never told anyone until he was 15. 

 

'Mom, I like boys' he finally blurt it out one evening during dinner. 

 

'That's nice dear, eat your vegetables Louis, I want them gone. 'His mother then turn to his other sisters making sure they were eating their veggies. 

 

When he told his dad, he just nod and asked if he fancy a game of football. 

 

His family was very supportive. His mother said that, she didn't care about his sexuality, no matter what she was still his son. So everything was back to its usual. 

 

Louis didn't tell his friends or Harry though. They live in a small quiet town. Being gay or different was frown upon. So he kept his mouth shut. The last thing he needs is to be a social outcast. 

 

He always tell himself that when he becomes older and attends uni , he is finally going to be able to break out of his shell. He want to live in the city. London? Maybe even in NYC. He couldn't wait to leave this shitty town. 

 

He will miss Harry though. 

 

~~~~

 

'Haz, what time is it?' Louis woke up and sees Harry beside him, lying next to him, one hand patting his hair , while concentrating on his book. 

 

Harry turn to Louis smiling , ' it's nearly 5.' Turning his attention back to his book. 

 

His phone started buzzing and he pick up .

 

'Hey babe, what's up' he said softly on the phone. 

 

' oh fuck, babe I'm so sorry, I'm coming ' 

 

He hangs up his phone and jump out of bed. 

 

'Gotta go Lou, I'm fucking late again.' 

 

Before Louis could even say bye ,Harry has left. He just sighed. He is so fucked up . 

 

~~~~

 

'Open up'

 

Louis jumped up from his bed when he heard a loud tap on his bedroom window. 

 

He slide up the window open and Harry climb into his bedroom . 

 

'What the fuck are you doing here? Do you want to fucking break your neck or something' Louis whispered harshly at Harry. 

 

Louis remembered that week when Harry had to be in the hospital because he broke his arm from climbing Louis window. Both mothers was angry at them. He remembered getting reprimanded by his mother on the way to the hospital to visit Harry.

 

'Lou I need to talk to you about something' Harry walk towards the bed and sit at the edge . 

 

Louis walk towards harry and sat beside him . 

 

Louis look at him as he tries to form sentences. Harry was trying to pick the correct words so that there won't be any misunderstanding . 

 

'Fuck Harry, it's bloody 2am . Can you just make it quick . ' Louis groaned . 

 

' Today , I went to the park with Caroline...'

 

'Are you fucking kidding , I am not at the right state of mind to hear about your date. Can we do it in the morning?' 

 

Louis don't want to listen to Harry's date. It will only cause him pain. Also he is sleepy . 

 

Harry ignored me and continued with his story ' Caroline thinks I hang out with you too much' Harry look up to watch Louis expression to see if he should continue. 

 

'What does that even fucking mean?' Louis asked , blood boiling as he rub his forehead out of frustration .

 

'And she said that if she wants to continue this relationship , I have .....'

 

'You have to stop being friends with me' I helped him finish his sentence .there was a brief moment of silence. 

 

'You did tell her shut the fuck up right. ' Lou asked hopefully . 

 

'Louis , I think I love her' Harry said softly . 

 

'What do you mean you love her? Are you fucking with me?' Louis voice raising. He stand up from his bed

 

'You don't know anything about us' Harry said , voice challenging Louis, also standing up from the bed 

 

'I may not know the both of you and whatever that goes around with your relationship with her , but I know you. I have known you practically my whole life. You are making a huge mistake ' 

 

'Come on Louis , it's not like we just stop being friends , you still are my friend but I just can't hang out with you anymore'

 

'This is so fucked up . I thought this friendship we have means so much more. Obviously you don't value it as much as i do. If we are not going to talk or hangout , this won't make us friends . It makes a stranger, you fucking idiot. ' Louis was literally shouting at him. 

 

Louis notice that Harry eyes was watering. 

 

'Louis, you know I value this friendship . You are my best friend . You know that.'

 

'So this is how you treat your best friend by leaving him for some girl you knew for less than 3 months?' 

 

'At least I had the fucking decency to inform you before I leave you. If you can recalled you had left me too.'

 

'Don't you fucking dare bring up the past. I don't even understand your motive of coming here , like what the fuck do you want me to tell you? To give you my blessing? Is that it ? Well Harry styles you have my fucking blessing. May you live happily ever after.' 

 

By this time Harry was already crying . His eyes was red and he kept using his palms to wipe the tears away. 

 

'I'm sorry Louis. You know I love you' 

 

'I guess it's not enough . Fuck it, just fuck it. Do what you want , I don't fucking give a shit anymore . 

 

Louis was just too angry , upset and tired to continue the argument he just went back to bed , using his pillow to hide his face. 

 

Harry tried his best not to start bawling and quickly climb down the window and into his room . When he finally reached his room. He could no longer hold the tears and he just let it flow . 

 

He lies on his bed thinking. Maybe it's better this way. That way it would hurt less. He wouldn't have to see Louis anymore. He won't have to feel that constant pain whenever he sees Louis. To say the least he was glad when Caroline told him to stay away from Louis. It was for the best. He didn't love Caroline. He loves Louis. He knew he loved Louis since the beginning, but when they were young, nothing really matters. They always knew that they would see each other the next day. But as Harry grew up, he knew how fucked up his world becomes. The more he knows, the more he knows that Louis can never love him. Now maybe without Louis presence, he can focus more on trying to love Caroline and trying to forget about Louis.

 

Harry grew up learning his purposes in society. His mother always told him to be a good man. School taught him to get good grades. Society taught him to go to a good uni , get married and have children. It was never what he wanted. He was just like that. Always pleasing people, it never mattered what he wanted. Harry was unlike Louis, Louis knew what he wanted. Louis wanted to see the world. He wants to go to the cities. He wants to experience different things.

 

Even when they were young. They would pitch a tent in their back garden and sleep in their sleeping bag , imagining they were in a deep forest and was camping out. They would look up in the skies and just enjoy each other company. They would talk about their imaginary adventures. How they killed the sea dragon and when they saw mermaids in their pond. As they grew older, they started talking about their future. 

 

'Harry, I was watching the telly yesterday and they were showing the geographic channel. They were showing parts of Asia, then there were elephants , haz! . People were riding the elephants , bathing the elephants. It was so cool!' Louis said excitedly

 

' You can bath with the elephants? Where is this magical place?' 

 

'Mum told me it was called Thailand. I want to go there someday. Harry, would you go with me?'

 

'Sure Lou, I'll go wherever you go' 

 

They would talk on and on, until they both fell asleep. They never doubt their friendship. They promised each other countless times that they would never leave each other. They just knew some things are forever, and what they had was forever. 

 

Supposedly.

 

 

When Louis was 18 , he finally graduated from that shitty place . Saying that he was happy is an understatement, he was in fucking cloud nine. He knew that this was his chance to leave this hellhole. He applied to many universities in London and thank the lord, he was accepted. The minute he got his letter of acceptance , he started packing . He wanted to leave as soon as possible. He was going to miss all his little sisters and his parents. But this is something he has to do. 

 

Within two weeks, he has transferred all his belongings to London. His mother cried the most. As he pack his clothing , his mother would be sitting on his bed weeping, as she weep , she would keep telling him to "take good care of yourself" , "Make sure to eat properly" and " Lock the doors before you go to sleep" . It was normal for a mother to worry for their child. But being the first child, she cried for weeks.

 

The last week before he leaves to London , his mother cooked his favorite food. During dinner , his mother would keep scooping more food onto his plates. 

 

'Once you are in London, you can't get to eat this anymore. And I can't cook this anymore' , then she would start crying again. 

 

'What do you mean , Daisy loves your chicken stew too. You can cook it for her. And if I were to miss your cooking , I'll just drive back here. Its only a 3 hours drive'

'Its not the same darling', his mothers tried to stop sobbing. 

'Mom relax ! You're acting like I'm going to war!' He laugh at his own joke. But his mom just stared sternly at him 

 

That week , Louis went to all his favorite places. He went to this playground that all his friends used to play in kindergarden. As he sat on the swing , he smiled to himself a little, remembering how he punch a boy's face because he bullied harry. He remembered being so scared that he was going to get expelled. 

 

He also went to that ice cream shop that he loved . He remembered going there with his friends, his ex-girlfriends and harry . He was been to the same ice cream shop his whole life that even the old ice cream man knows his name. Sometimes , he would even give Louis a bit more sprinkles than the other kids.

 

' Hello Louis, its been awhile since you're here? Your're usual?'

 

'yes please' Louis nodded .

 

' Haven't seen harry for awhile too.' 

 

Louis just smiled . 

 

' This would probably be the last times eating your ice cream. I'm moving to London for my uni' 

 

"oh is that so, well then I better give you more toppings.' The old man sprinkles more topping and handed it to Louis. 

 

Louis muttered a 'thanks' and handed his money. 

 

' well study hard young man. Make your parents proud.'

 

Louis smiled and nodded.

 

~~~~

Louis was leaving tomorrow and he still haven't talk to Harry yet. They never spoken to each other for 2 years ever since they last fight. 

 

Harry was no longer with Caroline, in fact he broke up with her a week later after Harry and Louis fight. But they still didn't talk to each other. Not even smiles along the hallways. It was as if they both never exist . Harry continued to date girls. In fact , he became real popular among the girls . He spend most of his times with girls as a way to distract him from over thinking . Thinking about Louis .

 

Harry thinks about his eyes , how it crinkles as he smiled. His bridge of his nose, his soft brown hair where Harry loves to play with, his thin lips. He thinks about how Louis makes his day so much better. How he can cheer harry up , no matter the situation. His everything. 

 

The only time Harry allows himself to think about Louis was in his dreams , where he has no control over. But when reality strikes. Harry becomes a different person. He was no longer the boy who is quiet and shy away from crowd. He no longer blushes when complimented. He was a huge flirt. He was a charmer . Charming every girl in school. Harry was never satisfied though, he knew he wasn't happy. How could he? He was in love with someone who doesn't love him the same way as he does. 

 

Louis contemplated whether he should talk to Harry. Give a proper goodbye. Try to set everything right . Telling him the truth. Harry deserve the truth. Harry needs to know why Louis couldn't be a friend for the last two years. Because Louis won't be able to live through life only being Harry's friend. It will kill him from the inside. But he didn't have the courage . He was so close. He stopped by his house . He rang the doorbell and every bad scenarios keeps running though his mind. 

 

What If Harry slam the door in his face. What if he doesn't want to talk. What if... 

 

'Hello love. Haven't seen you in a while.' Anne gave a warm smile and welcome him in.

 

This house was just like his second home. He would be here almost everyday before . Anne was like his second mother. Louis was so close to her. Anne treated him like his own son and louis felt bad that he never visit her for the past 2 years. its been nearly 2 years since he came. 

 

Anne brought him to the dinning table and made him a cup of tea and sat opposite him. 

 

'I'm sorry love , but Harry is out right now. Do you want to wait' 

 

' uh sure . ' 

 

'You're mother told me you are going to London for uni. What are you going to study love?' Smiling at me as if she was so proud of Louis, like it was her own son going to uni.

 

' I'm not really sure what I want to do but I'm probably taking a few classes. 'Smiling back.

 

'Well, I think Harry is going to miss you' her smile slightly falls.

 

Louis just smile back. Harry wouldn't miss him. If he did , he would have talked to Louis countless times as they walk past each other . If Harry did miss Louis , he would have asked Louis if he was ok. If Harry did miss Louis , Harry would have never leave him . 

 

Louis and Anne talked on about his future and London. He could see in Anne's eyes that she was really proud of Louis. As if it was her own son going away to uni.

 

After an hour , Louis decided to leave. He have waited long enough and it's probably a bad idea anyways. 

 

'Uh I better go , got to run some errand ' 

 

'Arent you going to wait for Harry ?' Anne asked , looking a bit too worried. 

 

'Its ok, I'm in a rush. Take care ....and uh....could you pass this to Harry and tell him I said bye ' Louis passed her a letter , hugged her and kissed her cheek before leaving.

 

Louis told himself. Convince himself , at least trying to. That this is for the best. It's better not to see Harry. That way he won't know what he would do to Harry.

 

Louis was afraid that if he was to see Harry for the last time, he might not be able to leave , or at least his heart won't let him. 

 

This is for the best , for both of them. Louis leaving to London means he can forget about Harry . Harry can also forget that Louis ever existed. 

 

Yeah, Louis is going to forget about Harry and move on. 

 

~~~~

'Mom , I'm home.' Harry walked into the kitchen where his mother was having her breakfast. It was nearly 10 , when he reached home '

 

He went to a party the night before and woke up in a toilet and beside her was a half naked girl . To be honest he could remember what happened and why he was lying on the toilet floor. All he knows is that he is having a fucking headache from all the vodka. 

 

'Hello love, Louis stopped by yesterday but you weren't here. He left a letter. I've put it on your bed.'

 

'Louis? Louis Tomlinson?' Harry hearts pounds, not really knowing what to expects .

 

'Yes dear, how many Louis's do you know. Also could you please try to inform me whether you'll be coming home.....Harry?' 

 

Before she could finish her sentence , Harry ran upstairs and found a white envelope laying on his pillow .

 

He opens the envelope and there was a long handwritten letter . 

 

 

Dear Harry

Hah! Does this seems too formal? It's weird isn't it ? Writing a letter , but I thought it showed sincerity. I debated for a long time and if you are reading it, I hope you know it took me a lot of guts for me to allow you to read this letter . But I think , you deserve the truth. I think you should know why I couldn't be your friend anymore and that I had to leave you. I'm in love with you. That's it. I don't really know when I started loving you, but I was on clearly aware that I love you when I was 16 and you were 15. I started noticing everything you do, the way your face changes when you smile. Believe me when I tell you this but, your smile can light up the world. But because of my selfishness and self preservation and everything like so, I'm leaving to London. It's good for both of us really. You have been doing fine ever since we stop talking. Been a real charmer eh? Hah! While I just need some time. I don't know how much time I need to forget you. It might take a short while or it might be forever. I hope you know my absence in your life have nothing to do with you. It's entirely me . I love you with all my heart. Goodbye 

Louis. 

By the end of the letter, Harry's face was wet with tears. He bolted out of the house and went next door . He need to see Louis for the last time before he leaves. He needs to tell Louis that...

~~~~  
Louis left him.

 

'Mrs Tomlinson , can I speak to Louis please . ' 

 

'Im sorry love, he left almost 2 hours ago.' 

 

She looks at him sadly , gave him a tight hug an closes the door.

 

Harry wants to cry. He felt sick in the stomach . He wants to vomit. He felt like dying. He don't know whether to be sad or angry. Sad because he is heartbroken. He never felt this much pain in his whole life. It was so overwhelming , that he felt like he can't breathe. He wants to just lie on the floor until he dies. He was also angry because he couldn't understand how Louis could just leave him here like that. They've made promises. Louis promised to never leave him. He promised Harry that he would bring Harry along . How can Louis just fucking stomp on Harry's heart and just leave to London. It didn't fucking made any sense to him. 

 

The first week was the worst. It was so fucking torturous . Harry didn't go to school. He just stay in bed and cry. He couldn't get it out on his head that Louis left him. He was in his boxers sitting at the edge of his bath tub crying. 

 

He don't know if he can survive this. Louis was one of the few things that was stable in his life. Louis was always there. He promised . When his father left him, Louis said he would never leave. He fucking lied. 

 

After the first week, slowly he was able to think more clearly. He went back to school. But he no longer feel the same. He felt dead inside. He went by his class not talking to anyone. He sat by himself during lunch . Nobody even bothered to ask him what happened , but deep down all of them knew about it. 

 

Everyone in their little town knew about how close Harry and Louis was. When they stopped talking 2 years ago. Nobody dared to ask Harry and Louis about it. So when Louis left to London , everyone knew that Harry was going to have a mental breakdown. He did.

 

Harry knew he loved Louis from the start. He remembers the time whenever they have a sleepover. He would watch Louis sleeps. He don't know why he does it. But it sort of gives him a calming effect. It calms him down , knowing that Louis would not leave him. His slow breathing and soft snores was like his lullaby . Only when Louis was beside him , he could sleep proper. 

 

Harry finally admitted to himself that he was in love with his best friend when he was 13. Others might call it a crush. People who knew Harry would just think that it was just puppy love and that Harry was just a hopeless romantic because he loved watching soapy love stories. But Harry knew, he want to be with Louis is whole life . Without Louis , he feels empty, out of place. At the age of 13, Louis was Harry's world. 

 

After a month of Louis departure, Harry started to go to the gym. He exercise a lot . Early in the morning he would go for a run. During the evening , he would go for a run again. During the weekends he would be in the gym carrying weight. 

 

He made use of every waking moment of his life being occupied. Hopefully he thought, that he would stop thinking about Louis and how perfect he is and how much Harry hates him for leaving him . Slowly he started to gain some muscles . People would complimented him for his toned body. Saying he looks better than ever. He would give a small smile and thank them but deep down he felt that every passing moment he felt heartsick an he is losing his will to live ,because Louis was his world and now that he is gone. Harry is left with nothing. He feels that this sadness might last forever.

~~~~

When Harry was 18, he finally graduated and was leaving home. He studied really hard and got into one of the top university in London 

 

'Oh my son is going to become a doctor' Anne hug squeeze Harry lanky body. 

 

'Mom, I'm studying medicine, I'm not a doctor yet' Harry whined trying to get out of his mom tight hug.

 

' oh darling , I'm so proud of you. My little boy going to uni' 

 

'MOM! I'm 18 already for Christ sake' 

 

'Harry love, you are my son and will always be my little joy baby ok' Anne said patting Harry's hair. 

 

' yes mom' Harry said dragging his word sulking. 

 

The last few month ,Harry has been so busy with studying for his exams and graduating , to finding an apartment in London and finding a right uni course for him. He didn't have much time to think about Louis. 

 

For the past year , Harry occasionally would think about Louis . He still doesn't smile as he used to. But he still can smile if he has to. He can still laugh at a joke. But at 2am when he is alone and nobody is watching him ,when his mind won't stop running . He cries. He cried because he misses Louis. He cries because he is heartbroken. He cried because he feels alone. He feels like dying. He feels that this constant pain in his heart isn't worth living. 

 

He thought he wanted to die. But in reality he just wanted to be saved.

 

~~~~

Louis was having the best and the worst times of his life and he wonders how that's possible. 

 

The best because he can finally be free to be whoever he want. He was in uni studying business and at night it was just partying. Every night he would be in god-knows-whose house. Louis and Zayn would be drinking till they puke . They laugh at each other and drink again. 

 

He met Zayn in university. It's funny since Zayn and Louis was pretty much mortal energies since kindergarten . That's the thing about life. It's so fucking complicated and unpredictable . Now Zayn and Louis are practically best friends. They shared an apartment together in London. Zayn was studying arts in uni. 

 

Zayn knows about everything. One drunkard night when Louis was horribly drunk from all the vodka. He and Zayn stumbled home but only made it to the living room. 

 

'Zayn?'

 

'Yeah?'

 

' I feel like dying'

 

'No you don't, you're just drunk'

 

They both laughed.

 

'Zayn?'

 

'Hmm?'

 

'Have you ever loved someone?'

 

'Yeah of course' Zayn's words start to slur , as he grew sleepy. '

 

'You know what's the worse thing that can happen when you are in love with someone? When the person don't love you back. It hurt so so bad' 

 

Louis tried to hold back his tears, he doesn't want to start crying because being incredibly drunk and crying about his past is too cliche , even for him. 

 

'Harry?  
'

Louis gave a small nod and wipe that tear at the edge of his eyes. 

 

~~~~

When Louis first arrived in London . All he ever think about was Harry. When he wakes up , his first thought would be Harry. When he eats his breakfast he would think about Harry. Even when he is in class, his mind would wanders around and he would be thinking about Harry. It was driving him fucking crazy that all he thinks about was Harry. 

 

Then there are days where he just doesn't have the willpower to get himself out of bed. He would wallow himself in self pity. 

 

'Get up mate, you're going to be late for school' Zayn shouted as he knocks on Louis door. 

 

'Fuck off' Louis shouted as his voiced muffled through the pillow.

 

'You know what you need? You need to get laid' 

 

That was the advice Louis took. Every week Louis would have a different guy he finds in parties . He would grab the first guy that was willing to suck his dick.

 

Louis was shocked himself. He thinks that the only time he finally feel at bliss. 

 

Zayn knows that Louis was only trying to ignore all his feelings and distract himself with sex. Louis knows it himself. But he denies it. Of course.

 

~~~~

The door bell rang. Then it rang again. After a few moments , it rings again. 

 

'Louis can you fucking get the door, you lazy twat. I'm busy cooking' Zayn shouted from the kitchen. 

 

It was a Saturday afternoon . It meant for sleeping . Not fucking visitors at this timing. 

 

'Fine' Louis groaned loudly ,enough for Zayn to hear.

 

Louis drag himself out of his room to the door. 

' I swear to god , if it's one of those fucking promoters again, someone going to get a bloody nose. No way in hell am I getting out of bed for some fucking promo...' Louis complained all the way , just to open the door. 

~~~~

'Hi' Harry's said with his low raspy voice .

 

'Hi' Louis croaked .

 

They stood at the doorstep for awhile . 

 

' who is it? Tell those promoters to fuck off. We don't need another blender.' Zayn yelled from the kitchen.

 

Harry was shocked from the shouting and eyes darted to Louis. 

 

Louis was still quite unsure of what was going on. Question were running through his mind . Why is Harry here ? Am I dreaming ? What's going on? Is this some kind of fucking prank? Louis just couldn't believe that Harry was in London , at his front door , grinning at him. 

 

'Umm... Come in' Louis direct him to the living room . They both took a seat and nobody talk for awhile. Harry look around the house smiling gleefully. Making Louis more confuse than ever.

 

'Hey Lou, is seafood ok?' Zayn came out of the kitchen to the living room in an apron breaking the silence.

 

'Yes Zayn, seafood is ok' Louis stood up , he can't take this anymore.

 

'Come on Harry , let's go to my bedroom' Louis grab Harry's hand and lead him to his bedroom. 

 

'Nice to see you again Harry' Zayn shouted as he leaves to the kitchen.

 

'You too' harry replied . 

 

Louis shut his door. Harry took a seat at the edge of the bed.

 

'Harry, why are you in London ? Does your mother knows about it?' Louis asked frantically. 

 

'Calm down Lou, of course my mum knows . I'm here for 2 reason. First being, I'm going to uni here. Second, I want an explanation.' 

 

Harry took out a piece of crumpled paper from his pocket. 

 

It was Louis's letter. 

 

' this is not good enough Lou, I want you to explain it to me' 

 

Louis sighed, he felt so fucked up. He run his hand through his hair and as he lean on his door. 

 

' I don't know what you want me to say Haz' Louis said defeatedly . 

 

Harry's eyes narrowed and glared at Louis. Louis knew Harry was pissed. 

 

'What the fuck do you mean you don't know what to say ? Are you fucking with me? ' Harry yelled, his tone got even lower and more raspy when he is angry.

 

'Im sorry Harry, I don't know what else's to say' Louis said softy .

 

' you know what, Louis? You are a fucking coward. That what you are. How can you fucking do this to me?'

 

'Im sorry Harry . I'm sorry . I'm sorry . I'm sorry. I know it's selfish of me but I'm sorry. Louis cried holding Harry's arm. 

 

'Don't fucking touch me,' Harry pulled his arms away from Louis ,' how can you just leave me without saying goodbye ? You are such a fucking twat' 

 

Harry started crying . His nose was all runny and Louis was trying his hardest not to start brawling. 

 

Louis wipe away his tears , ' I'm sorry . That was the only thing I can do. I told you Harry, I had to leave . I didn't have a choice' 

 

'You will always have a choice . There is always a choice. Do you know how alone I was? You promised me , you fucking promised me that you would never leave me. But you still did. I trusted you, you fucker' 

 

Harry's tears kept rolling down his cheek. It was so heartbreaking to see Harry cry. Louis went up to him and wipe his tears. 

 

Louis always hated to see Harry cry. It just doesn't suit him. Harry deserved happiness, he deserved to be smiling. Whenever he smiles , it's as if warm radiated from him. You can't help but be happy too. 

 

'Haz, I was in love with you. To be honest , I still am fucking in love with you. I left you with every right reason. I did that to protect you' 

 

'Oh fuck , Louis why are you so fucking dense. Can't you see that I'm in love with you too?'

 

Louis didn't got the chance to react before Harry's lips crash into his. 

 

Louis swear at that moment he didn't care about a god damn thing , all he could think about was Harry's lips on his , the way Harry's hands felt on his body , and the way harry smiled in the middle of the kiss. All Louis want was harry at that moment 

 

It's fucking cliche whenever movies describe the first kiss to be an explosion of fireworks and that everything was suddenly right in the world . But it was. Louis dreamt of kissing Harry since he fell in love with him. But this was better. 

 

Harry pulled off and gave Louis a weak smile. His eyes was still red and his cheeks was puffy from all the crying , there was snorts coming out from his nose. But Louis loves him. Louis loves Harry and the little things that makes him for who he are. That's what matters. 

 

~~~~

There are still days when Louis can't believe Harry is beside him. It's those little moments when he feel so lucky that Harry is with him. 

 

Harry was his light. His smile brightens his day. His voice was the only thing Louis want to hear . His presence was the only motivation for Louis to live another day. He was Louis source of happiness. 

 

'Sometimes I think how lucky I am to have you as my boyfriend who have such an amazing body' Louis hug Harry from behind and run his differs on Harry's abs 

 

Maybe Louis was being over dramatic but being away from harry for a year in London and Harry has changed so much. Harry was much taller and lanky compared to Louis , his voice was more deeper. Harry was much more built compared to Louis. 

 

'Tell me babe, are you hungry again ?' Harry smirked . 

 

'You know me so well' Louis grinned and hug him tighter, letting go of Harry as he walks to he kitchen .

 

'Go make me a sandwich tiger' he slaps Harry's ass. 

 

Harry walked towards the kitchen ,stops midway and turns around , scrunch his nose and made a tiger face , turns back and went to the kitchen.

 

Louis smiled as he watches his boyfriend cooks. His boyfriend? Louis was still trying to get use to it. Even after being together for 4 month. He still can't believe Harry is his. 

~~~~

During their one year anniversary , Louis wanted to make it special. He thought long and hard, coming out with the perfect event for their special day. 

 

The morning if their anniversary Louis woke up and sees Harry, his Harry still sleeping peacefully . Even when he is asleep, warm radiates . 

 

Louis played with Harry's hair until he wakes up. 

 

'Happy anniversary baby' Harry said in his sexy morning raspy voice .

 

'You too love , I got something for you.' Louis smiled playfully. 

 

He turn around and open the drawer from his nightstand and handed it to Harry. 

 

'Louis did you just buy two tickets to fucking Thailand? You remembered !' Harry said excitedly and kissed Louis in the nose. 

 

'Yeap I did' Louis said proudly.

 

'How is it possible that I love you even more?' Harry asked smiling gleefully. 

 

'Are you excited? We are finally going to bath with the elephants !' 

 

~~~~

The trip to Thailand was amazing. They saw so many things. They spend most of their time in the beach. They even bath with the elephants. Technically Louis kinda chickened out when he went to see the elephant. They were just so big compared to a small man like him . So in the end they bath with the baby elephants. 

 

~~~~  
'They look much smaller in the Telly and I wasn't afraid' Louis pouted.

 

Whenever they were with a group f friends and they were talking about their trip to Thailand . Harry would make sure to embarrassed Louis about the tale of Louis scared of big elephants. 

 

'I just didn't want to be trampled on by an elephant. I was thinking about out safety .'

 

'Sure babe, whatever you say' Harry stick out his tongue.

 

'I don't know why I still love you after you humiliate me countless time' Louis narrows his eyes as Harry laughed playfully. 

 

'Thats because you love me and my big dick' Harry laughed even more as he covers his mouth. 

 

'You are such a dork' Louis rolls his eyes, but can't help but smiled as he sees Harry laughing at his own joke. 

 

Louis can't imagine a life without Harry. He has known Harry for his whole life. He knows, deep down . Both of them are forever . 

 

 

Fin

**Author's Note:**

> kudos/comment/bookmark please! <3
> 
> Follow me at  
> larryshipbullshit.tumblr.com  
> ponyandunicorn.tumblr.com


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